After some ideas please..........!!

My lad is really suffering at school at the mo, the gap is widening between him and peers socially. So far, he isnt too aware other kids reactions to him, mainly cos he moves at 300 MPH and doesnt hang around long enough to see the smirks and ehar the comments...

BUT, he is starting to make comments about 'my brain makes me do silly things' and sobbing hysterically 'its not my fault' when he's done something innapropriate. So, I think he may be starting to become aware of his differences..

The kids around him are also realising he's different and vulnerable...and easily manipulated as well. Theyre realising that he'll do what they tell him, just for laughs, and he just doesnt get it, bless him. (This is where i want to the little !!!) He bumps into kids, touches their faces, screeches at them, and you can tell they just think he's plain weird. He butts in coversations, is so innapropriate in general, poor little fella, basically just all things AS!!

Ive asked to speak to teacher & TA next week about helping him socially, they already do social stories with him for various situations, but was wondering if anyone knows of any structured programmes or websites etc to aid social skills learning?

Ive been doing some digging, but only seem to be able to find information on WHY kids social skills are a struggle, or they point me in the social stories direction which we're already doing.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated guys!!

Yorkie,

No idea of where to start actually. It will all depend on the cooperation you get from your school. The EP recommended at least 20 mins a day with C but it never happened.

If it is any consolation, it does get better as he gets older; he will be learning what is appropriate/not appropriate all the time and lots of things that drive you mad now will just fade, promise. Just grab your Stella and fags and hold on tight for a bit of a bumpy ride for a while.

Hi Yorkie,

We are not there yet but I one of my closest friends is doing a weekly social skills class with her son (through CAHMS) so I will ask her!

will be in touch

hev

we were just discussing this today about wildman... well sorta..

the LEA and the autism team sent some papers home they printed out from some websites for us to look at over the next few days of programs designed to help learn appropriate behavior and social skills with peers which they are willing to buy one of for wildman.. appropriate conversations etc.. they look really great.. unfortunately they are outside in my car and its 10:30 at night at the moment.. however tomorrow when its daylight I will get them and post the addies here where you can go online and look at them.. one of them was as cheap as equal to ten quid!!! so watch this space and I'll have the addies for ya for them by afternoon your time tomorrow!

forgot to add.. these are programs designed to build social skills and coping at school specifically for kids with ASD!!

Lil Bat's SaLT (ASD trained) gave the school a program for building social interactions, as she's young at the moment they work in a small group (about 3 other children) and do turn taking and shared enjoyment mostly, lot's of rewards such as bubble blowing etc. This happens once a week. Every 6-8 weeks they change the children in her group.

Don't know how that would translate for your son, but perhaps your SaLT (or the dept if you don't have a designated one) will have a program for social interactions and could send you a copy or they could speak to your SENCO about this.

pip x

okay here they are (sorry I am late with them.. hubby took me out to breakfast )

the first one is early learning site this one has a section for UK buyers where you wont have to pay VAT and there is no charge for shipping..

the second is Linguisystems they ship worldwide.. but the shipping isnt free outside the US

and the last is model me this one sends international as well and their prices don't look bad at all.. this one was recommended to us by the Autism specialist for our LEA..

hope these help!!

My son has help from the social interaction team and talking partners. He also has a buddy for breaktimes to help structure things and help him understand situations.

Hi Yorkie

My L has just started a social skills group via CAMHS. It was a very small group of 4 children all around 12 yrs old, (not sure how old your lad is but I'm sure the theory is the same whatever the age). The aims of the group are to improve young people's confidence and social skills - for example making conversation, respecting other's feelings, problem solving and dealing with bullies. It also aims to help young people learn to manage difficult emotions like anxiety and anger.

This week's subjects are below. Hope you find them useful.


This week in the group we have focussed on skills needed for having a conversation, including the use of body language, topics to talk about, not interrupting, staying on topic and turn-taking.

Some things from the group you may want to practice with your child are:

Listening position:
ask your child to show you their good listening position (eye contact, not fidgeting, not too close or far away). For fun, you might also want to ask them to show you an example of a bad listening position, or get them to put you in a good listening position! Leading on from this, you can point out to your child when their listening is good or not so good when you are talking to them.

Not interrupting:
this is a tricky one, particularly for young people with ADHD! But it is a skill which can be improved upon with practice, so keep pointing out to them when they interrupt unacceptably and praise them for listening without interrupting.

Staying on topic:
this can be relevant to many young people with Asperger's syndrome who like to turn conversations around to their own interests. In the group, we play a game where group members are allowed to make a 'BZZZZ' sound to tell each other when they go off topic - you might want to use this at home, as a prompt to remind your child not to change the subject when you are having a conversation with them.

Turn-taking:
this is relevant for young people who tend to dominate conversations. You might want to point out to your child when they are not giving someone else their turn to talk, and perhaps encourage verbal games which require turn-taking (eg I spy, animal alphabet).

Having conversations:
in the group, we try to come up with lots of ideas young people may be able to talk to their peers about. This is something you could continue to talk about with them, particularly at times when they are going to meet someone new. If your child is anxious about meeting new people, it may also be helpful to discuss with them that this is normal, that everyone has trouble knowing what to say at times, and that most people are glad when someone else starts a conversation with them. To help normalise their anxiety, you might want to tell them about a time you felt anxious about meeting someone new (eg starting a new job), and how you coped with it (obviously, choose an example where it turned out ok!). If your child enjoys play-acting, you could pretend to be someone they are getting to know (eg a new child at shcool), and and let them practice asking you lots of questions about yourself.



Hope you find some of this useful, regarding having conversations a really good trick L learned was if someone asks you a question and after you've answered your stuck for something to say then just ask them the same question back eg What did you watch on television last night? I watched Doctor Who... What did you watch last night? I watched Doctor Who too it was really good...

Let me know if you want me to post next week's 'lesson'.

If some one can tell me how to attach a scanned doc it would be easier!!! I did try but couldn't suss it!!!!

Rachel

Rachel that's brilliant. Just what we need here too!

The next instalment...

Social Skills Group - Week 2

This week in the group we have discussed different emotions and ways of coping with anger, anxiety and sadness. We spend quite a bit of time on this in the group, because it is recognised that many young children affected by Asperger's syndrome have difficulties in recognising and controlling negative emotions in a very clear way, and discussing ways the young person can help themselves deal with difficult emotions, may therefore be helpful.

Some things from the group you may want to practice with your child are:

Naming Emotions
Try encouraging your child to express clearly how he/she feels, or how he/she felt in past situations. Start with simple feelings words, such as happy, sad, angry and afraid. You could also try discussing characters on TV and see if he/she can name how they may be feeling, or from time to time tell him/her how situations make you feel. These kind of strategies can help encourage understanding of emotions in children to whom this does not come naturally.

Discussing coping with anger
Take some time when your child is calm to talk with him/her about anger. Emphasis that anger is normal and that it's ok to feel angry as long as he/she doesn't behave in ways that are not acceptable. Ask your child how he/she can spot the beginnings of an angry mood 9eg heart racing, fists clenched). Between you try to identify ways he/she can cope with anger, such as talking with you, or taking himself/herself to his/her room for some quiet time. You can remind him/her of these strategies when you notice him/her becoming angry. Praise your child if you notice him/her coping well when he/she feels angry.

Discussing coping with anxiety
Many children with Asperger's Syndrome experience high levels of anxiety. This can be triggered by different things than for other children: for example, play-time, PE, loud noises and changes in routine. Some children may overreact to events, for instance, seeing being told off by a teacher as the end of the world and refusing to go to school the next day. Sometimes children's anxiety may cause them to be aggressive, controlling and defiant. These behaviours can sometimes be their way of trying to impose some order on a world which may be very frightening to them at times.

It may be helpful to encourage your child to talk about his/her worries and emphasise that it's normal to feel anxious at times. Discuss with him/her any ways he/she can cope with this, such as distracting himself/herself, or talking to someone. Praise and reward him/her for facing up to things which he/she is afraid of. If there is a serious problem (eg bullying) you may need to intervene to support him/her in dealing with this. You probably can't stop your child worrying - but just knowing that you are on his/her side and that you are trying to understand his/her worries will help him/her.
Hope this is useful

Rachel

I have asked the SaLT if Leo could do a block of sessions for social skills but she said it does not start before they are 8 years old.
This is exactly what Leo would need. I think that the earlier they learn the better. Leo starts suffering from peers rejections especially since at school he has genuine friends but outside school the only child who wants to play with Leo is Paul, his brother.
At school things are well controlled and social stories have really worked well.
We are trying to get some sorted out for Leo outside school but I have to say that we really dread taking the boys anywhere...

Léo, on Jun 17 2007, 07:53 AM, said:

Léo, on Jun 17 2007, 07:53 AM, said:

L is a bit older (13 yesterday!) and the group she is in are the same age. L was only dx 6 months ago so I'm not sure if these groups are available at a younger age.

Is Leo under CAMHS? It is in fact CAMHS that are running these courses and not SaLT. L has been approaching them positively and better still enjoying them. She is hopefully returning to mainstream school in next few months (been at home since last November) so these are just what she needs to help her to improve her social skills. If L had been asked to do these courses a few months ago she just wouldn't have gone. She finally accepting she has 'needs' and is trying to help herself. She doesn't enjoy having to 'go' to them but is embracing them the best she can and realises that people are trying to help her - this is a major breakthrough in itself.

L too only really has contact with her younger sister and certainly doesn't go out anywhere by herself or with peers. She only 'socialises' with close family members so it's very tough for her.

I think that we have to push the boundaries for 'our kids' just a little at a time otherwise they just won't achieve anything. Easier said than done and it's not always worth the following meltdown but they've got to learn that the easy option 'not going or doing something' isn't always the most rewarding!!

Good luck

Rachel

We live in Northern Ireland and I do not know if there is even such a thing as CAMHS. The SaLT said that she was running the social skills courses anyway.
Point is that unfortunately it is not available for Leo yet!

Léo, on Jun 17 2007, 07:53 AM, said:

That's bull... I know that lil bat's programme isn't as in depth as the above but at 4 1/2yrs she has sessions appropriate to her age and as I said earlier, it is under the SaLT's guidance! I'm sure your SaLT could do something too

A x

Léo, on Jun 17 2007, 08:50 AM, said:

I agree my son has been having social skills training at least since he was 8.

Social Skills - Week 3

This weeks we have continued with work on dealing with difficult emotions. We have also begun to look at a new topic: problem solving. This is a structured way of helping encourage your child to find sensible solutions to problems they may face. This is relevant to children with Asperger's Syndrome who can often feel overwhelmed by problems and unable to find a solution.

Using problem solving with your child:
You might want to practice this with your child, so her are the steps as we teach them in the group:

1. Keep calm! Tell yourself, I can solve this problem if I keep calm.

2. Decide what the problem is.
Get your child to clearly define the problem - are they upset because they could not do something you wanted? Are they upset because someone did something to them?

3. Brainstrorm - think of as many solutions to the problem as you can together
To make it fun, allow yourself and your child to come up with silly and unacceptable suggestions as well as sensible ideas (eg Problem: I have lost my homework. Solutions: Run away and join the circus, blow up the school, scream and shout. Ask mum to ask my teach if I can have more time to do the homework again).

4. Think about the consequences - what will happen if you try different solutions?
here you can help your child explore what will happen if they try different solutions to a problem, and help encourage them to see the advantages of using a sensible solution.

5. Pick the best solution
and encourage your child to try it out.

Many children seem to respond to this logical, structured approach. It does help, especially when starting off, to make notes though.

Social skills - Week 4

Coping with Bullying

This week the group we have talked about bullying and teasing. Unfortunately we know this is a problem for many young people affected by conditions such as Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD and Dyspraxia.

Some of the commonest problems we hear about are:

1. Children may sometimes misinterpret jokes and comments which are not meant to cause offence and be very upset by these. They may therefore feel that they are being bullied when this is not the case (which does not make it any less upsetting for them).

2. Children may also be the victim of deliberately hurtful comments and behaviour, including physical aggression.

3. The child who is bullied may end up being punished, either because other children take advantage of their vunerability to persuade them to do things they should not do; or because they react aggressively against a bully.

Some ideas from the group you might want to discuss with your child are:

. what is bullying? this can be hard for young people with Asperger's syndrome to understand, so it's worth talking over with them.

. it is not their fault if they are teased or bullied and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Most children experience teasing or bullying at school as some point.

. they need to tell you and/or a teacher if they are experiencing bullying. They will not be 'telling tales' and you can help make sure they are safe from the bully. They do not need to cope with bullying on their own.

. If they are bullied, they must not react in an aggressive way as they could get into trouble for this.

. ways of dealing with bullying: depending on the severity of the bullying, this might include ignoring, talking back, walking away or telling a teacher.

. sometimes, it will be helpful for children to make sure they stay in a safe place where they can see or easily find an adult. This will mean staying in certain areas of the school at breaktimes, for example, some schools have even set up 'safe-zones' where children can work or chat at breaks. It may not be fair that children who are bullied have to change their own behaviour to keep themselves safe, but unfortunately this is sometimes the reality. School sites are large and complex and not everywhere can be supervised all the time. You can compare this to staying away from certain areas of town which are unsafe. It may be that certain areas of a school are 'less safe' than others as far a bullying is concerned. So the supervised play areas might be safe; but areas around the edge of the school field, empty classrooms, etc, less safe. Of course, if the bullies are making essential areas into no-go zones (eg the toilets) this needs to be addressed by the school staff.

Further information
Websites:
www.bullying.co.uk
www.kidscape.org.uk
both have excellent information for parents

Maybe all the information Rach is posting could be put together in a post / thread / file because I am sure others in the future may benefit from it ?

The Card Counter, on Jul 1 2007, 12:18 PM, said:

That's what the front end of the site is for - anyone with a password (see Bart if you want one) can add a page.

I have one I tried to add the DVD reviews and messed it up so I think I will stay away from the front end of the site!!

The Card Counter, on Jul 1 2007, 11:18 AM, said:

This is a great idea Card Counter. After a quick look at all of the information made available here, I can plainly see that someone out there has really "taken the bull by the horns" when it comes to developing what seems like a great social skills training program. Sadly, most of the world (schools) are very weak in this area. I do believe we are getting better though. There's still much work to do.

I just want to make mention of a technique that I've read about that has shown great promise and potential. It is called "video-taped self modeling"

How it works? kids are assisted by teachers in a group setting. The group may consist of spectum children and neuro-typical kids. The kids are video taped while engaging in reciprocal conversations. The kids are aided by the instructors who give cues and prompts that help the autistic children sustain back and forth conversation and give appropriate responses, ask relevant questions, etc. The video tapes are eventually edited to remove the prompts and cues. The end result is a movie that portrays the autistic child engaging in a very fluid, successful social interaction. The child watches him/herself conversing and interacting with other children with amazing competence. They get to see themselves doing something wonderful and it can greatly enhance their social confidence and self-esteem. Supposedly, they begin to model themselves--the way they see themselves in the movie.

I've never actually seen this technique used before and I don't know if it's being used widely, but it sounds like it just might work. Has anyone ever used it in your groups?

autist, on Jul 7 2007, 09:43 AM, said:

I've done this a few times - and it is very effective with my SLD students. With my ASD students, it does help them but not in their development of independent, spontaneous speech. It gives them a repetoir of far more extended, complex scripts.

This is a huge bonus and worth doing in its own right - especially when you consider that my more able students are rarely capable of putting together more than a handful of words spontaneously anyway. With children who are more able than my students, I can't comment as I have no experience of using the technique with them.

Edited to add: I teach a 14-19 age group in a special school for children with ASD, SLD and challenging behaviour.

I have just been reading this with interest and thought I must bump it up for others to read.

I could totally relate to the bully isssues, its hard when the bully is in your family, in my case has always been my sister, and it seems no matter where I go in life I always come across a bully just like her, as if there is a lesson I am supposed to learn to overcome this, but, its easier for me to run away than face it, because of my anxiety. I have been running away from my sister for years, my ex's daughter was also like my sister, wanted to rule the roost, and now in college, I have one in my class that from the word go my emotional radar said stay away from her, she looks like my sister and behaves like my sister, and I left class one day because she pushed me out of my designated spot we were doing a still life on because she decided she wanted my spot. Then I tried to be nice to her and have coffee my friend encourage me, somehow I opened up about my Autism, and she simply blurted out, oh you can't blame Autism for everything, most of the time it is just your personality, ooohhh did I turn into a pressure cooker I think that day my youtube account got a good work out, to chill.

I think I need a computer chip with this lodged into my brain, because I learn it, but after a while, I forget.

My biggest problem is taking things to literally, and not understanding jokes, and when I see people mocking each other sometimes my brain just thinks how rude, where others just see the light humoured fun in it.

Now I have learned my wiring is different, at least, I have some areas to work on and understand better about myself, no wonder ( I felt dizzy a lot of the time and teary and nauseaus because, sometimes, I just didnt get it, what others take for granted.

Hally xx

yes you were right! I am looking for social skills groups in my area!!!

The Card Counter, on Jul 1 2007, 12:18 PM, said: