[Yorkie]

After some ideas please..........!!

My lad is really suffering at school at the mo, the gap is widening between him and peers socially. So far, he isnt too aware other kids reactions to him, mainly cos he moves at 300 MPH and doesnt hang around long enough to see the smirks and ehar the comments...

BUT, he is starting to make comments about 'my brain makes me do silly things' and sobbing hysterically 'its not my fault' when he's done something innapropriate. So, I think he may be starting to become aware of his differences..

The kids around him are also realising he's different and vulnerable...and easily manipulated as well. Theyre realising that he'll do what they tell him, just for laughs, and he just doesnt get it, bless him. (This is where i want to :censored :censored :censored the little :censored !!!) He bumps into kids, touches their faces, screeches at them, and you can tell they just think he's plain weird. He butts in coversations, is so innapropriate in general, poor little fella, basically just all things AS!!

Ive asked to speak to teacher & TA next week about helping him socially, they already do social stories with him for various situations, but was wondering if anyone knows of any structured programmes or websites etc to aid social skills learning?

Ive been doing some digging, but only seem to be able to find information on WHY kids social skills are a struggle, or they point me in the social stories direction which we're already doing.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated guys!! :excellent

[Twinkle]

Yorkie,

No idea of where to start actually. It will all depend on the cooperation you get from your school. The EP recommended at least 20 mins a day with C but it never happened.

If it is any consolation, it does get better as he gets older; he will be learning what is appropriate/not appropriate all the time and lots of things that drive you mad now will just fade, promise. Just grab your Stella and fags and hold on tight for a bit of a bumpy ride for a while. :hugs2:

[hev]

Hi Yorkie,

We are not there yet but I one of my closest friends is doing a weekly social skills class with her son (through CAHMS) so I will ask her!

will be in touch

hev

[allure]

we were just discussing this today about wildman... well sorta..

the LEA and the autism team sent some papers home they printed out from some websites for us to look at over the next few days of programs designed to help learn appropriate behavior and social skills with peers which they are willing to buy one of for wildman.. appropriate conversations etc.. they look really great.. unfortunately they are outside in my car and its 10:30 at night at the moment.. however tomorrow when its daylight I will get them and post the addies here where you can go online and look at them.. one of them was as cheap as equal to ten quid!!! :excellent :excellent so watch this space and I'll have the addies for ya for them by afternoon your time tomorrow!

forgot to add.. these are programs designed to build social skills and coping at school specifically for kids with ASD!! :excellent

This post has been edited by allure: 18 May 2007 - 02:25 AM

[pipistrelle]

Lil Bat's SaLT (ASD trained) gave the school a program for building social interactions, as she's young at the moment they work in a small group (about 3 other children) and do turn taking and shared enjoyment mostly, lot's of rewards such as bubble blowing etc. This happens once a week. Every 6-8 weeks they change the children in her group.

Don't know how that would translate for your son, but perhaps your SaLT (or the dept if you don't have a designated one) will have a program for social interactions and could send you a copy or they could speak to your SENCO about this.

pip x

[allure]

okay here they are (sorry I am late with them.. hubby took me out to breakfast :whistle )

the first one is early learning site this one has a section for UK buyers where you wont have to pay VAT and there is no charge for shipping..

the second is Linguisystems they ship worldwide.. but the shipping isnt free outside the US

and the last is model me this one sends international as well and their prices don't look bad at all.. this one was recommended to us by the Autism specialist for our LEA..

hope these help!! :D

This post has been edited by allure: 18 May 2007 - 01:03 PM

[Boyz_Mom]

My son has help from the social interaction team and talking partners. He also has a buddy for breaktimes to help structure things and help him understand situations.

[Glass Half Full]

Hi Yorkie

My L has just started a social skills group via CAMHS. It was a very small group of 4 children all around 12 yrs old, (not sure how old your lad is but I'm sure the theory is the same whatever the age). The aims of the group are to improve young people's confidence and social skills - for example making conversation, respecting other's feelings, problem solving and dealing with bullies. It also aims to help young people learn to manage difficult emotions like anxiety and anger.

This week's subjects are below. Hope you find them useful.


This week in the group we have focussed on skills needed for having a conversation, including the use of body language, topics to talk about, not interrupting, staying on topic and turn-taking.

Some things from the group you may want to practice with your child are:

Listening position:
ask your child to show you their good listening position (eye contact, not fidgeting, not too close or far away). For fun, you might also want to ask them to show you an example of a bad listening position, or get them to put you in a good listening position! Leading on from this, you can point out to your child when their listening is good or not so good when you are talking to them.

Not interrupting:
this is a tricky one, particularly for young people with ADHD! But it is a skill which can be improved upon with practice, so keep pointing out to them when they interrupt unacceptably and praise them for listening without interrupting.

Staying on topic:
this can be relevant to many young people with Asperger's syndrome who like to turn conversations around to their own interests. In the group, we play a game where group members are allowed to make a 'BZZZZ' sound to tell each other when they go off topic - you might want to use this at home, as a prompt to remind your child not to change the subject when you are having a conversation with them.

Turn-taking:
this is relevant for young people who tend to dominate conversations. You might want to point out to your child when they are not giving someone else their turn to talk, and perhaps encourage verbal games which require turn-taking (eg I spy, animal alphabet).

Having conversations:
in the group, we try to come up with lots of ideas young people may be able to talk to their peers about. This is something you could continue to talk about with them, particularly at times when they are going to meet someone new. If your child is anxious about meeting new people, it may also be helpful to discuss with them that this is normal, that everyone has trouble knowing what to say at times, and that most people are glad when someone else starts a conversation with them. To help normalise their anxiety, you might want to tell them about a time you felt anxious about meeting someone new (eg starting a new job), and how you coped with it (obviously, choose an example where it turned out ok!). If your child enjoys play-acting, you could pretend to be someone they are getting to know (eg a new child at shcool), and and let them practice asking you lots of questions about yourself.



Hope you find some of this useful, regarding having conversations a really good trick L learned was if someone asks you a question and after you've answered your stuck for something to say then just ask them the same question back eg What did you watch on television last night? I watched Doctor Who... What did you watch last night? I watched Doctor Who too it was really good...

Let me know if you want me to post next week's 'lesson'.

If some one can tell me how to attach a scanned doc it would be easier!!! I did try but couldn't suss it!!!! :huh:

Rachel

This post has been edited by Rach: 10 June 2007 - 11:41 AM

[anna]

Rachel that's brilliant. Just what we need here too!

[Glass Half Full]

The next instalment...

Social Skills Group - Week 2

This week in the group we have discussed different emotions and ways of coping with anger, anxiety and sadness. We spend quite a bit of time on this in the group, because it is recognised that many young children affected by Asperger's syndrome have difficulties in recognising and controlling negative emotions in a very clear way, and discussing ways the young person can help themselves deal with difficult emotions, may therefore be helpful.

Some things from the group you may want to practice with your child are:

Naming Emotions
Try encouraging your child to express clearly how he/she feels, or how he/she felt in past situations. Start with simple feelings words, such as happy, sad, angry and afraid. You could also try discussing characters on TV and see if he/she can name how they may be feeling, or from time to time tell him/her how situations make you feel. These kind of strategies can help encourage understanding of emotions in children to whom this does not come naturally.

Discussing coping with anger
Take some time when your child is calm to talk with him/her about anger. Emphasis that anger is normal and that it's ok to feel angry as long as he/she doesn't behave in ways that are not acceptable. Ask your child how he/she can spot the beginnings of an angry mood 9eg heart racing, fists clenched). Between you try to identify ways he/she can cope with anger, such as talking with you, or taking himself/herself to his/her room for some quiet time. You can remind him/her of these strategies when you notice him/her becoming angry. Praise your child if you notice him/her coping well when he/she feels angry.

Discussing coping with anxiety
Many children with Asperger's Syndrome experience high levels of anxiety. This can be triggered by different things than for other children: for example, play-time, PE, loud noises and changes in routine. Some children may overreact to events, for instance, seeing being told off by a teacher as the end of the world and refusing to go to school the next day. Sometimes children's anxiety may cause them to be aggressive, controlling and defiant. These behaviours can sometimes be their way of trying to impose some order on a world which may be very frightening to them at times.

It may be helpful to encourage your child to talk about his/her worries and emphasise that it's normal to feel anxious at times. Discuss with him/her any ways he/she can cope with this, such as distracting himself/herself, or talking to someone. Praise and reward him/her for facing up to things which he/she is afraid of. If there is a serious problem (eg bullying) you may need to intervene to support him/her in dealing with this. You probably can't stop your child worrying - but just knowing that you are on his/her side and that you are trying to understand his/her worries will help him/her.
Hope this is useful

Rachel

This post has been edited by Rach: 17 June 2007 - 06:21 AM

[Léo's mum]

I have asked the SaLT if Leo could do a block of sessions for social skills but she said it does not start before they are 8 years old. :glare:
This is exactly what Leo would need. I think that the earlier they learn the better. Leo starts suffering from peers rejections especially since at school he has genuine friends but outside school the only child who wants to play with Leo is Paul, his brother.
At school things are well controlled and social stories have really worked well.
We are trying to get some sorted out for Leo outside school but I have to say that we really dread taking the boys anywhere...

[Glass Half Full]

Léo, on Jun 17 2007, 07:53 AM, said:

I have asked the SaLT if Leo could do a block of sessions for social skills but she said it does not start before they are 8 years old. :glare:
This is exactly what Leo would need. I think that the earlier they learn the better. Leo starts suffering from peers rejections especially since at school he has genuine friends but outside school the only child who wants to play with Leo is Paul, his brother.
At school things are well controlled and social stories have really worked well.
We are trying to get some sorted out for Leo outside school but I have to say that we really dread taking the boys anywhere...

[Glass Half Full]

Léo, on Jun 17 2007, 07:53 AM, said:

I have asked the SaLT if Leo could do a block of sessions for social skills but she said it does not start before they are 8 years old. :glare:

L is a bit older (13 yesterday!) and the group she is in are the same age. L was only dx 6 months ago so I'm not sure if these groups are available at a younger age.

Is Leo under CAMHS? It is in fact CAMHS that are running these courses and not SaLT. L has been approaching them positively and better still enjoying them. She is hopefully returning to mainstream school in next few months (been at home since last November) so these are just what she needs to help her to improve her social skills. If L had been asked to do these courses a few months ago she just wouldn't have gone. She finally accepting she has 'needs' and is trying to help herself. She doesn't enjoy having to 'go' to them but is embracing them the best she can and realises that people are trying to help her - this is a major breakthrough in itself.

L too only really has contact with her younger sister and certainly doesn't go out anywhere by herself or with peers. She only 'socialises' with close family members so it's very tough for her.

I think that we have to push the boundaries for 'our kids' just a little at a time otherwise they just won't achieve anything. Easier said than done and it's not always worth the following meltdown but they've got to learn that the easy option 'not going or doing something' isn't always the most rewarding!!

Good luck

Rachel

[Léo's mum]

We live in Northern Ireland and I do not know if there is even such a thing as CAMHS. The SaLT said that she was running the social skills courses anyway.
Point is that unfortunately it is not available for Leo yet!

[pipistrelle]

Léo, on Jun 17 2007, 07:53 AM, said:

I have asked the SaLT if Leo could do a block of sessions for social skills but she said it does not start before they are 8 years old. :glare:

That's bull... I know that lil bat's programme isn't as in depth as the above but at 4 1/2yrs she has sessions appropriate to her age and as I said earlier, it is under the SaLT's guidance! I'm sure your SaLT could do something too :glare:

A x